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Time to set goals & create a theme for 2016
Last year I blogged 45 days before I turned 45, planned a big party, and made a point of claiming 2015 as a year of self-discovery.
And what a year it has been!
- I’ve become clear in my business strategy and delivery shifting from fitness coaching to social media marketing strategy, technology and analytics.
- My actuarial career of over 20 years is winding down comfortably, as I have dropped 2/3 of my client base and 100% of audit projects.
- We paid off all debt, including the mortgage, even though it meant selling property that I thought would serve us in retirement. It feels good to have no one to answer to that way.
- My friends on FB have doubled as my world has expanded virtually. What I’ve noticed is that some of my new friends are actually becoming real friends. Friends who get me and appreciate what I stand for in life and in business.
Have you noticed all the posts this week about what your theme is for this year? I have been saying 2016 is when I’ll come into my own, but what does that really mean?
It means this to me:
1) No more toxic relationships.
When we feel anxiety because of the way someone makes us feel, fear the next meeting, dread reading their emails, or cringe when the phone rings, that’s probably toxic. A lot of times this is a family member or a disgruntled business partner. These relationships are difficult to move past because there is so much history and/or you have combined assets that are difficult to unravel. The guilt is tremendous when a transgression is committed that you feel you’re required to forgive.
Healthy relationships are not supposed to trigger guilt.
So how do you move past a toxic relationship? Start with a decision, a well-thought out decision of making a clean break. Be very clear in your communication about it and why, and do not regret doing it. Sure, it’s scary to do, and you may toss and turn in the process, but once you’ve done it, the weight is gone. You’re free.
2) Life is too short to please everyone else.
How many times have you caught yourself doing something to please someone else that doesn’t necessarily serve your own personal goals?
Ask yourself these things:
- What is the worst thing that would happen if I do not take this on?
- Can someone else do this besides me?
- Is my time well spent doing this?
- Do I have the capacity to do my best?
- Does this push me towards achieving my personal goals?
If the answers to these questions point you to not doing this, put your big girl panties on and back out of it or say no in the first place.
You are allowed to say no.
When you are planning your quarter, month or week, make sure you put the important things on your calendar first and give yourself plenty of wiggle room, so as not to overextend yourself. Inevitably there are interruptions or delays. Be prepared.
3) Be yourself authentically and do not apologize for it.
Have you caught yourself reading about someone else’s life and felt envious of their vacations, family, house or job? First of all, what you’re seeing is their best foot forward, so don’t kid yourself about how much sacrifice they’ve made to get where they are. They most likely have worked very hard, struggle daily, and have just as many steps backwards as forwards.
You only see the best of them while you’re experiencing the whole of yourself. People don’t mind seeing your flaws. In fact, it’s quite comforting to know that you struggle to get through life. It makes you real, relatable, approachable.
If you’re in a place of self-discovery, trying to define the brand of your business, and you have no idea where to start, try this.
- Think about the most difficult challenges you’ve overcome.
- Write out the steps you took that helped solve your problem.
- Do not leave out the details of what you tried that didn’t work. Include what you learned from those things.
- Ask yourself who else could be struggling with something similar. Who is that person? What are they like? Where do they hangout or what are their interests?
- Do you think you’d enjoy helping others overcome this as you did?
- If someone had presented a solution to your problem when you were experiencing it, would you have taken advantage of it? What would have been your hesitation?
Talk about authentic. You’ve just created a viable business idea from the heart. A real passion project.
Coming into my own has been a long time coming, as I have hesitated to make big changes in my life in many areas due to fear, circumstance, and overbooking myself time and again. I have also held onto too many toxic relationships that cause heartache and sadness. It’s time to let those go and finally be who I am supposed to be.
Wanna come with me?
Take the ROAD MAP CHALLENGE to see what you’d like to accomplish this year. The challenge begins January 15 and will end with a LIVE call on February 2 at 7 PM CST. Check your email for details. A drawing for a $100 Amazon gift card will occur on February 2.
Sally is a social media marketing strategist focusing on helping you get through the techno-slo-mo of driving traffic to your business.
Get to know Sally here.